I have been keeping myself busy lately with a number of things, especially hanging out with my little dude Max. I am getting the barn ready to host a Halloween party in a few weeks, complete with 4 different scenes to hang out in. I will be taking pictures and posting a before and after of the transformation.
Anyhow, this post has very little to do with my preoccupations, and side projects, but more to do with how to let go of things. I have been tasked with once again helping in the schooling of my 3 cousins and niece, and I couldn't help but notice how often their minds are in a negative space over something that happened earlier in the day, the week, etc.
My first thought was to introduce them to meditation in their daily routine, and teach them how to be in the moment. Upon the first sitting for our meditation I noticed two things, one, when they focused their mind on the task, they forgot about what was upsetting them, and secondly, one of the girls had a preconceived notion that this was not going to work and she was not having it.
After our sitting was finished I had a long conversation with the two newest students Marissa and I acquired and shared my take on getting over whatever is bothering you. I will do my best to break it down into as simple and concise a message as I can. Here it is.
Find the silver lining
This one is an oldie but a goodie. It's become such a cliche that I almost didn't use it, however, I suppose it's cliche for a good reason, it works. It's much easier to be positive and productive if you actively work to STAY positive and productive. Letting one person's opinion, or one job you're asked to do ruin your day is completely ridiculous to me. To me it's the equivalent of finding a quarter on the sidewalk, immediately quitting your job, and acting like you're gonna kick back and live off the interest. You can't let something so minute ruin a day, or even more than a few moments. Know that more moments will come and pass both positive and negative and it's your job to see the good in each of them. Sometimes you have to invent the silver lining or look deeper than you'd care to but trust me, it's there. One of the most difficult things that has happened to me was the passing of my father, it seems awful to see the bright side of something so tragic, however I am constantly thankful for the lessons he passed on to me and I'm excited I get to pass them on to Max. This situation has helped me live in the moment more, to appreciate the time I have with my family more, and focus on making Max's life the best it possibly can be. Those are just a few of the things that have strengthened since my dad's death. If I can find some positive things in my situation I KNOW that you can make an extra 30 minutes at work into a positive situation.
Get perspective and create context
Is this thing that has you in a less than happy state of mind really that important? The answer I come to is usually 'No'. You have to ask yourself are you gonna think about this 2 days from now? How about 5 years from now? If it's not something worth holding on to for the rest of your life and having it affect everything you do, it's probably not wasting the few minutes, or hours that stewing about it will take from you. Everyone gets upset from time to time, but letting it ruin your day is a bit silly. See it for what it is, a moment in time that has come and gone, and you get to decide if it will take something from you (time and energy) or will it add to your growth as a person by allowing you to practice compassion, patience, and forgiveness?
Seeing the past for what it is
This is where we get a little philosophical. I have come to the belief that the past is what you make it. Your POV and how you tell your story paints other people's impressions of you. If you let your past be an excuse or a crutch, there is little that the future can offer you, however if you paint your picture in a positive light and use your experiences as steps to the top of a mountain you can start to realize that you're capable of ANYTHING! My advice to my cousins, and my readers is this. The past is no longer here. It does not exist. The only thing that exists is the memory YOU create. If you are letting the past control your present you're effectively letting something that DOES NOT exist run your life. Do yourself a favor and STOP IT.
I tried to encapsulate a fairly long conversation into a couple of paragraph, so I apologize if it's a bit jumbled. I'll end with one last thought. Time is precious but it is also fleeting. We only get a finite amount of time to spend doing what we love with the people we love. DO NOT WASTE IT by letting what has already passed control where you're going
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